Sunday, April 11, 2010

April 10, 2010--
Today was amazing! :)
I was able to spend 7 hours with Luis!! I mean, my mom wasn't too happy about it. But I don't care. It's worth the consequences! :) I hope to spend more time with him again soon. I wish I took pictures :( He looked so great trying to look like the Jabbawockeez. ;)

April 11, 2010--
7 Months!! ♥ And on to forever! :)

Friday, April 9, 2010

Happy Birthday Luis! ♥

Today's my baby's birthday! ♥
And I don't get to spend it with him.. :(
I will try my hardest tomorrow. I hate my parents. They never understand..
I hope Luis has a lot of fun though. He deserves it.

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Luis's birthday's coming up! What do I do? I want it to be great. He deserves the best. He says all he wants if for me to be there with him. But I don't have the guts to ask my mom. I will have to ask her soon.. since it's only TWO days away.. ): I still need to get him a present..

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

So adorable! ♥

video

video
Sorry it's been a while. Had a rough day today and I think it'd be best if I expressed it in words than any other way right now..
I feel like everything I do is wrong. I got into a huge fight with Luis and--stupid me--I told my mom about it. It just adds onto her judgmental-self of everything else I've told her. God, I hate having parents who don't get me. I feel so alone in this world, it's ridiculous. The only people I can really turn to are Cj, Luis, and Amy. But they can't always be there for me. I just want to crawl into a corner and make this pain GO AWAY! It hurts too much. The tears just keep coming. I'm depressed again. I want it to all stop. I can't keep myself busy because either way it just comes right back at me.
I don't know what to do anymore. I don't know what I want. I'm sick of the "unknown." I want life to be simple and peaceful. But that can never happen. No, because God decided that since Adam and Eve screwed him over--he should just screw up with the rest of their generation. No matter how much the citizens of the world want to believe that we all live under equal laws, we don't. We'll never be equal, we'll always hate, and there will always be war.
See? Now I'm talking random crap. Thanks a lot to the people who piss me off!

Ugh. I need a job..
Any ideas?

Great. So much stress--homework. Not enough time. Please, just shoot me. It'd be so much easier. At least I'm not crying anymore. Phew, now all that's over and done with.. I wonder what I'm going to do about my life. I need to fix it--Pronto. Or I'll just end up screwing up everyone else's lives that are somewhat attached to mine. (I guess you'd say that.)
First, apologies to my mother. Ugh. I feel terrible now. But I'm in so much stress. I hope she'll understand. Wish me luck.

---

We worked things out. The only problem for me is that we didn't entirely talk it out. Which sucks. We really do need to talk lots of things out. But she's busy on the phone and getting ready for work. So I have to wait.. Again.

Look how cute these are! :)
I'm thinking about asking my mother if I can get them.

I'm gonna go though. I have to pick up my little sister up soon. I'll be back for more random stuff later. Ttfn luvs. :)



Sunday, April 4, 2010

Wow. Who knew that seeing Luis could just turn this depression around. I thought I was too sad to see him. But I instantly feel so much better after seeing him. Everything's so great right now! :) We kept watching Jabbawockeez dances. This is one of his favorites:

video
But yeah, my Easter was GREAT. :) Because of him. ♥
Hopefully I will make his birthday amazing! :) All we can do is hope, right? ;)
Haha, well I'm gonna go eat PIZZA! :D
So Ttfn! :)


Happy Easter! :)

Good morning all. :)
Easter has arrived. Woo. :)
I didn't do anything, and we're not celebrating. But hopefully Cj and Luis are coming over. I think Luis might be avoiding me... I don't know. I don't even want to think about it. So I won't.. I'm just gonna finish cleaning my room.
I'll be back later.

So I guess Luis is coming over. My room isn't completely clean. Oh well, I don't really care right now.
Cj and Tre came over before they went to Tre's family brunch. They're great. :)
UGGHH. I don't feel good at all. Like my whole body is just so tense.. and nothing can make me happy. Maybe Cj's depression had rubbed all on me. Great..
I should go. Luis will be here soon and I don't want him reading any of this. Well not now anyways. Ttfn.