Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Sorry it's been a while. Had a rough day today and I think it'd be best if I expressed it in words than any other way right now..
I feel like everything I do is wrong. I got into a huge fight with Luis and--stupid me--I told my mom about it. It just adds onto her judgmental-self of everything else I've told her. God, I hate having parents who don't get me. I feel so alone in this world, it's ridiculous. The only people I can really turn to are Cj, Luis, and Amy. But they can't always be there for me. I just want to crawl into a corner and make this pain GO AWAY! It hurts too much. The tears just keep coming. I'm depressed again. I want it to all stop. I can't keep myself busy because either way it just comes right back at me.
I don't know what to do anymore. I don't know what I want. I'm sick of the "unknown." I want life to be simple and peaceful. But that can never happen. No, because God decided that since Adam and Eve screwed him over--he should just screw up with the rest of their generation. No matter how much the citizens of the world want to believe that we all live under equal laws, we don't. We'll never be equal, we'll always hate, and there will always be war.
See? Now I'm talking random crap. Thanks a lot to the people who piss me off!

Ugh. I need a job..
Any ideas?

Great. So much stress--homework. Not enough time. Please, just shoot me. It'd be so much easier. At least I'm not crying anymore. Phew, now all that's over and done with.. I wonder what I'm going to do about my life. I need to fix it--Pronto. Or I'll just end up screwing up everyone else's lives that are somewhat attached to mine. (I guess you'd say that.)
First, apologies to my mother. Ugh. I feel terrible now. But I'm in so much stress. I hope she'll understand. Wish me luck.


We worked things out. The only problem for me is that we didn't entirely talk it out. Which sucks. We really do need to talk lots of things out. But she's busy on the phone and getting ready for work. So I have to wait.. Again.

Look how cute these are! :)
I'm thinking about asking my mother if I can get them.

I'm gonna go though. I have to pick up my little sister up soon. I'll be back for more random stuff later. Ttfn luvs. :)


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