Saturday, April 3, 2010

Just Another Day.

This morning I had woken up early and had a great breakfast. Steak, eggs, hash browns, orange juice--it was great. Up until my mom asked me to wash the kitchen walls. She kept yelling at me. And making stupid jokes to my dad about how lame I was and how he should take me out of the house. She doesn't even know how hurtful her words can be. I still haven't told her that I think I'm depressed much more often than I should be. I don't want to tell anybody right now. I just want to write this all down. I wish people would just understand me. I feel like no one does right now. I seriously mean no one..

Cj has finally decided to let go of his aunt's death. I'm proud of him. Of course, she'll always be there in his heart but he'll live a lot happier life NOT keeping it all in. You know? I'm proud of him, I really am.

Luis's confirmation is today and it sucks that I can't make it. I want to be there for him. But right now.. I feel like he may need some space from me. I don't know what I did, but it seems like he's tired of me. I keep thinking the worst of it. Maybe I should just stop thinking at all. But everything I end up doing reminds me of him. I promised myself that I wouldn't get hurt again--but I fell in love with him. And I trust him to take care of my heart. I just hope that he cares enough to not break it. I know he cares a lot, and I know he wouldn't do anything to purposely hurt me. But sometimes you have those moments when you're so scared.


I pretty much LOVE them! Haha. So glad I went. Even if that one girls head kept getting in the way.

Church at 8:30. And I think it's about 2 hours. I hope Luis calls before that so I can explain. I really don't want him to get upset or hate me..
But I should go. Everyone is waking up from their naps. Ta-ta for now! :)


Kendra Logan said...

I know what you mean about your mom, and about feeling scared about a broken heart. I have that feeling a lot, where I trust the person, but still...I dunno. But I know what you mean.


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